It has been observed that divorced parents rest their fragile egos on their children and consequently these children lose their peers. A section of these children believe that they are the original cause of divorce. They struggle with these thoughts and lose their self esteem. Moreover, they sense that it is their obligation to bring everything back on the correct track. As these plans are based on wrong assumptions, the plans rarely succeed and this increases the children's feeling of failure.
Children of divorce desire the following from their divorced parents.
- The parents should be a part of the child's life. The child expects daddy and mummy to raise the child, teach the child what is important and assist the child when it has problems
- When parent 1 talks regarding parent 2 with the child, the child expects parent 1 to speak only nice things about parent 2 or not speak anything at all. If parent 1 says unkind and mean things about parent 2, the child feels that parent 1 is expecting the child to take parent 1s side
- The child expects each parent to communicate directly with the other parent. The child is reluctant to send messages between the two
- The child wishes to enjoy the time spent with each parent and during it love the parent. During this time, the parent should support the child. If the parent displays frustration or jealousy, the child concludes that he / she should take side of one of the parent and love one of them more than the other
- The parents should not fight regarding issues concerning the child in front of the child. If they do so, the child feels that he / she has done something wrong and develops a guilty feeling
- If the parents don't get themselves involved with the child, the child feels he / she is not important and the parents do not love him / her. So, the parents should ask the child several questions, make phone calls and write letters
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