Post Divorce

A divorce is a painful siltation in the life of spouses, where they have to break their marriage forever. Often, many couples experience financial and mental problems that can affect their future life in a very bad manner. Though a divorce is an uncontested one, the spouses would still face some mental disturbances while getting adjusted to the new conditions in their lives. Therefore it is necessary to know the ways to handle these complications.

Divorce brings many negative feelings like insecurity, loss and forceful changes in personal life. But, a person should take separation from the partner in a positive way. Some things that are essential to gain a positive outlook towards life are as follows:

• One should speculate regarding the type of life a person would like to experience after divorce. They should begin practicing these things right away. This would enable that person to adjust into that lifestyle in the future.
• It is essential to draft a monthly budget and gain understanding about one's liabilities and assets.
• Each divorced parent must put their children's interest as first priority. If the children are involved in the procedure, they must be handled carefully by both the spouses. It is necessary to keep them out of the conflicts between partners.
• The divorced couples should try to recognize their emotions. It is better to express these feelings, than hiding them from others. Releasing bad things out of the mind will help in creating a fresh attitude towards life.
• It is necessary to be ready for the 'friend dynamics.' This term does not imply how you react to your friends, but how the friends react to the divorce.
• Instead of grieving about the past, one should try to forget the incidences of your married life. Forgiving oneself and the others who are involved, helps to get out of the traumatic conditions.
• It is advised to have at least formal contact with the ex-spouse. It will help in many ways to manage financial and social things in your life.
• If the in-laws and other family members are interested in continuing their relationship even after a separation, a person should give a try to preserve these relations. That will assist in making your life normal.

It is seen that many spouses suffer from financial losses after a divorce. A proper planning regarding management of all available assets and debts is the way to handle the monitory tensions. About the financial life, the following precepts can be taken:

• Re-evaluation of all retirement and insurance plans. One may desire to alter the beneficiary on all the policies.
• In case of shared debts, your name should not continue on the ex-spouse's credit record. So, it is necessary to close this account and transfer the balance to separate accounts.
• Adjustment of mortgage: During this step, one may find that the lender recommends to refinance the loan in the name of the individual, who is allotted the residence.
• Protection of credit report: Ensure that late payments are avoided.
• The divorced person must create an emergency fund for cash. It is advisable to take out a HELOC (Home Equity Line of Credit). This is identical to a second mortgage and has the functionality of a credit card.

When a person embarks on a new life, they should remember that this is not an ending but the start of an amazing phase. It is recommended to keep the following things in mind:

• Join a club of the members who are from similar background.
• Make it a point to spend some time with the children.
• Avoid thinking too much of the circumstances.
• Have a kind outlook towards self.
• Be conscious of rebound relationships.
• Accelerate your social life.
• Ascertain that you do not commit the same mistakes again.
• Ensure that there is no bitterness in your talk or behavior.

Thus, here are some practical points that can help the spouses in post divorce troubles. Not many of the couples are able to come out in a positive way. Most suffer because of poor support and negative attitude. There are many sources of professional help that are available in society. Apart from these self-help centers, the spouses should take a note that the attachment with the friends and family will do wonders for them. Therefore, instead of getting into lonely environment, one should try to open up in every possible way post divorce.